These are from Reader's Digest online...enjoy the giggles and grins!
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL DADS!
Dad holds a special place in our hearts, and on Father's Day, he deserves the best! Pass our funniest fatherhood submissions on to a dad in your life and share the priceless gift of laughter!
The Right Choice
My 16-year-old brother, Ryan, was out late with friends one night. Suddenly he realized it was Father's Day and he had neglected to buy a card for our dad. After much searching, Ryan located an open store, but was disappointed to find only two cards left on a picked-over rack. Selecting one, he brought it home and, somewhat sheepishly, presented it to our father.
Upon opening it, Dad read this message: "You've been like a father to me." He looked at Ryan, puzzled.
"Well, Dad," Ryan tried to explain, "it was either that or the card that said, 'Now that I'm a father too!'"
-- Submitted by Anne Carlson
Thanks for the Soda, Pop!
Before I took the old family car to college, my father loaded the trunk with soft-drink bottles filled with oil, coolant and transmission fluid. Sure enough, my car overheated. Scolding myself for not listening to my father's instructions, I looked at the engine and saw how well he knew me. The oil cap was labeled Dr Pepper, the transmission stick, Coke, and the empty coolant container, Diet Pepsi. I finished the trip safely.
-- Submitted by Charlotte G. Alexander
Say What, Dad?
Our Gen-X daughter, Cristie, made my husband a Father's Day card entitled "Things My Dad Would Never Say." Such as:
"Can you turn up that music?"
"Go ahead and take my truck. Here's 50 bucks for gas."
"I LOVE your tattoo. We should both get new ones."
"Here, you take the remote."
-- Submitted by Deanna Schneider
Watch the Wash, Dad...
I decided to make myself useful and do a load of the family laundry. When I took the clothes out of the machine, I discovered -- to my dismay -- that I had also washed the watch my wife had given me while we were dating. "Don't expect me to replace it," she said later with an obvious lack of sympathy. By the time Father's Day rolled around, however, she had relented and gave me a beautiful new watch. Attached was a note with this stipulation: "DRY-CLEAN ONLY!"
-- Submitted by Paul Diblasi
What a Card!
Father's Day was near when I brought my three-year-old son, Tyler, to the card store. Inside, I showed him the cards for dads and told him to pick one.
When I looked back, Tyler was picking up one card after another, opening them up and quickly shoving them back into slots, every which way. "Tyler, what are you doing?" I asked. "Haven't you found a nice card for Daddy yet?"
"No," he replied. "I'm looking for one with money in it."
-- Submitted by Terri Cook
Papa Bear
My husband's cousin married a former Marine who now works for United Parcel Service. They bought their four-year-old son two stuffed bears -- one in a UPS uniform and the other in Marine garb. When the boy seemed confused, his father brought out a picture of himself in full Marine dress. "See, Connor?" he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. "That's Daddy."
Connor's eyes went from one to the other, and then he asked in a puzzled voice, "You used to be a bear?"
-- Submitted by Robin Yedlock
Pop Vs. Pup
While flying from Denver to Kansas City, Kansas, my mother was sitting across the aisle from a woman and her eight-year-old son. Mom couldn't help laughing as they neared their destination and she heard the mother say to the boy, "Now remember -- run to Dad first, then the dog."
-- Submitted by Karla J. Kasper
Paternal Payback
On the day I received my learner's permit, my father agreed to take me out for a driving lesson. With a big grin, he hopped in behind the driver's seat. "Why aren't you sitting up front on the passenger's side?" I asked.
"Kirsten, I've been waiting for this ever since you were a little girl," Dad replied. "Now it's my turn to sit back here and kick the seat."
-- Submitted by Kirsten Wiley
No. 1 on Our List -- Literally!
My father was completely lost in the kitchen and never ate unless someone prepared a meal for him. When Mother was ill, however, he volunteered to go to the supermarket for her. She sent him off with a carefully numbered list of seven items.
Dad returned shortly, very proud of himself, and proceeded to unpack the grocery bags. He had one bag of sugar, two dozen eggs, three hams, four boxes of detergent, five boxes of crackers, six eggplants, and seven green peppers.
-- Submitted by Joan Flood
Friday, June 18, 2010
Friday, June 4, 2010
SCHOOL'S OUT - WHAT TO DO WITH THE KIDDOS?
Our 4 yr old granddaughter, Claira, making cookies with me (Nana)
I love anything kid-friendly - I will have a 'Kid's Corner' in my upcoming cookbook -
Hope the kids enjoy making some of these 'fun' foods as they're home for the summer....
KID-FRIENDLY RECIPES
Two-yr. old Granddaughter, Kaity,
rolling cookie dough -
gotta have that tongue out or
it won't 'work'...=)
Monday, May 31, 2010
LEADER ENTERPRISE - May 2010
Our priceless freedom isn't free.Time and time again, it calls for a high price to be paid. As we prepare to honor and remember those who have given their lives for our country, I thought it would be appropriate to share some excerpts from my husband Ron's Memorial Day speech from 2008, when he spoke at both Bryan and Montpelier's cemetery ceremonies.
Ron served 3 tours as a Marine, in Viet Nam, and later retired from the Air Force after 20 years of military service. He is 100% disabled as a result of exposure to Agent Orange, and is the most patriotic person I know. He's also a gifted speaker, and I'm proud to share with you here, what he shared with many 2 years ago.
"Today, our country will pause to remember and honor those faithful and dedicated Americans who have forfeited their lives on the field of battle to secure freedom and liberty for our nation and our allies.
"The Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines we pay tribute to this day are not all strangers, though we may know few of them personally.
"We do understand the reality that they are all truly members of our family, the family of America. As each life was given, we all suffered loss. The true potential of our fallen warriors will never be known. I believe that every family represented here today has been touched by the loss of a veteran.
"As we witness the parades and attend these services, please pause to consider how many thousands, and even hundreds of thousands across this great nation, have given their lives in defense of our country. As the solemn meaning of Memorial Day embraces our hearts and minds,we must do what we can to recognize and salute this nation's most valiant citizens.
"It isn't fate or chance that made the United States of America what it is today. God established this nation through the hard work of faithful
"Christians who were seeking a place in this world where they could live, work and worship freely. But it also continues to thrive, in part, because of the tremendous sacrifices of those we honor here today.
"At this time, you and I are far from the battlefield, and we must thank God for that! However, we cannot allow ourselves the luxury of being so busy enjoying our freedom that we forget to count the cost. The following statement was found on a food ration box during the battle for Khe Sahn, during the Viet Nam war. 'For those who fought for it, freedom has a flavor the protected will never know. It is not a note of sarcasm, but a simple truth.
"Will our nation ever be conquered by a foreign enemy? Only God knows. But as long as we have courageous citizens who will stand in the gap and fight for liberty and freedom, it is less likely. Our military forces are those courageous citizens. Please continue to support them any way you can ,but especially through prayer.
"On this Memorial Day, let's not forget the fact that concerning our military veterans, 'All gave some, but some gave all.' Support, honor and pray for your nation's warriors for freedom and liberty. Thank you and may God bless America".
If you haven't enjoyed any asparagus yet, I hope you'll consider trying these two favorite recipes of mine. Asparagus is low in calories, high in folic acid, a good source of Vitamins A, B6, C, calcium, potassium, iron and thiamine, and has fiber also.
ROASTED ASPARAGUS
2 lbs. fresh asparagus
olive oil-garlic powder-salt & pepper
Preheat oven to 375. Trim and clean asparagus.(If you bend the stalk, it will naturally break where the tough part begins). Dry and lay on a cookie sheet in a single row. Drizzle a little oil over the stalks;toss asparagus until lightly coated. Season with spices and bake until browned and tender, stirring once or twice. I normally bake this 15-20 minutes(total time),depending on the size of the stalks. Try this roasting method with other veggies as well--sweet potatoes,brussel sprouts,carrots,or squash.
ASPARAGUS CASSEROLE
1 sleeve Ritz crackers, crushed
4 TB. butter, melted
2-15 oz. cans asparagus spears,drained
1-8 oz. can sliced water chestnuts, optional
2-3 hard boiled eggs, peeled and chopped
1/2 c. evaporated milk
1 can cream of mushroom soup
Preheat oven to 350.Grease 9"X9" baking dish. In small bowl, mix cracker crumbs and butter; place half in bottom of prepared dish. Layer asparagus, water chestnuts, and eggs on top of crumbs. In small bowl, mix milk and soup; pour over top. Sprinkle remaining cracker crumbs over top. Bake uncovered for 30 minutes or until bubbly.
This month marks my first year anniversary writing for this column. Thanks so much for your support and encouragement.
Ron served 3 tours as a Marine, in Viet Nam, and later retired from the Air Force after 20 years of military service. He is 100% disabled as a result of exposure to Agent Orange, and is the most patriotic person I know. He's also a gifted speaker, and I'm proud to share with you here, what he shared with many 2 years ago.
"Today, our country will pause to remember and honor those faithful and dedicated Americans who have forfeited their lives on the field of battle to secure freedom and liberty for our nation and our allies.
"The Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines we pay tribute to this day are not all strangers, though we may know few of them personally.
"We do understand the reality that they are all truly members of our family, the family of America. As each life was given, we all suffered loss. The true potential of our fallen warriors will never be known. I believe that every family represented here today has been touched by the loss of a veteran.
"As we witness the parades and attend these services, please pause to consider how many thousands, and even hundreds of thousands across this great nation, have given their lives in defense of our country. As the solemn meaning of Memorial Day embraces our hearts and minds,we must do what we can to recognize and salute this nation's most valiant citizens.
"It isn't fate or chance that made the United States of America what it is today. God established this nation through the hard work of faithful
"Christians who were seeking a place in this world where they could live, work and worship freely. But it also continues to thrive, in part, because of the tremendous sacrifices of those we honor here today.
"At this time, you and I are far from the battlefield, and we must thank God for that! However, we cannot allow ourselves the luxury of being so busy enjoying our freedom that we forget to count the cost. The following statement was found on a food ration box during the battle for Khe Sahn, during the Viet Nam war. 'For those who fought for it, freedom has a flavor the protected will never know. It is not a note of sarcasm, but a simple truth.
"Will our nation ever be conquered by a foreign enemy? Only God knows. But as long as we have courageous citizens who will stand in the gap and fight for liberty and freedom, it is less likely. Our military forces are those courageous citizens. Please continue to support them any way you can ,but especially through prayer.
"On this Memorial Day, let's not forget the fact that concerning our military veterans, 'All gave some, but some gave all.' Support, honor and pray for your nation's warriors for freedom and liberty. Thank you and may God bless America".
If you haven't enjoyed any asparagus yet, I hope you'll consider trying these two favorite recipes of mine. Asparagus is low in calories, high in folic acid, a good source of Vitamins A, B6, C, calcium, potassium, iron and thiamine, and has fiber also.
ROASTED ASPARAGUS
2 lbs. fresh asparagus
olive oil-garlic powder-salt & pepper
Preheat oven to 375. Trim and clean asparagus.(If you bend the stalk, it will naturally break where the tough part begins). Dry and lay on a cookie sheet in a single row. Drizzle a little oil over the stalks;toss asparagus until lightly coated. Season with spices and bake until browned and tender, stirring once or twice. I normally bake this 15-20 minutes(total time),depending on the size of the stalks. Try this roasting method with other veggies as well--sweet potatoes,brussel sprouts,carrots,or squash.
ASPARAGUS CASSEROLE
1 sleeve Ritz crackers, crushed
4 TB. butter, melted
2-15 oz. cans asparagus spears,drained
1-8 oz. can sliced water chestnuts, optional
2-3 hard boiled eggs, peeled and chopped
1/2 c. evaporated milk
1 can cream of mushroom soup
Preheat oven to 350.Grease 9"X9" baking dish. In small bowl, mix cracker crumbs and butter; place half in bottom of prepared dish. Layer asparagus, water chestnuts, and eggs on top of crumbs. In small bowl, mix milk and soup; pour over top. Sprinkle remaining cracker crumbs over top. Bake uncovered for 30 minutes or until bubbly.
This month marks my first year anniversary writing for this column. Thanks so much for your support and encouragement.
Friday, May 28, 2010
FREEDOM ISN'T FREE
ENJOY A BLESSED MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND...AND DON'T FORGET TO THANK A SOLDIER, SAILOR OR MARINE!
THANK YOU FOR OUR FREEDOM
THANK YOU FOR OUR FREEDOM
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
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